The Second Circle of Hell


Souls overcome by lust are blown about to and fro by the winds of a violent storm. The only conclusion I can draw is that the second circle is full of weathermen. Yes, the same idiots that broadcast in hurricane-force winds. Think about it. Weathermen, by nature, are nerdy. This puts them in a league apart from beautiful women. And since every man desires women of the highest caliber, they have to resort to pornography to satisfy their needs. In other words, lust.

Men of all ages occupy the second circle as well. Your grandfather? Yep. Your kid brother? Mhmm. You? Most definitely. Much can be said but I'll refrain. It's all common knowledge by now. First, there's the puberty episode. Then, comes the desire to screw every living thing that moves. That about sums up our existence.

Oh, and I didn't forget about women. They are not as guilt-free as you might expect. The fairer sex has fantasies too. Colorful, elaborate fantasies which may or may not contain Fabio. Now this may come as a shock to most of you, but believe me, it is fact. Women watch pornography and touch themselves. I'm sorry, but it's time you knew. They haven't been innocent since taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. I don't know if it's because they are often mislead by "snakes" or if they just crave all of the knowledge in the world. Regardless, keep an eye on them, and I don't mean that in a lustful sense.

We are all guilty of lust, it's mankind's greatest folly. For instance, wars have begun because of lust. Coincidentally, Helen of Troy and Paris are both in the second circle of Hell. Such is the power of lust.

As the Internet's beacon of shining light, and your guide on this journey, I suggest we move on.


Sadako said...

Didn't Dante consider having lust in your heart a la Jimmy Carter to be a sin? If so, I'm probably going there, too. (That, uh, back massager I picked up at Babeland is probably another reason I'm going here, too.)

Matt said...

I'm sure he did. Not to worry, I'll be standing right there with ya.

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