Culinary Cataclysm

New York City 2029 A.D.

The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to process human bodies had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present.

The year was 2010 and an unexpected threat had been rising within American culture. The Food Network. Once thought of as harmless, the Food Network unleashed a living nightmare upon mankind. Men, women, and children fled for their lives, but it was too late. The world as we knew it became shrouded in darkness. It was only the beginning . . .

Prior to the fall of man, a scientist by the name of Dr. Miles Dyson became famous for his studies on alternative forms of energy. It was not the first time the media had brought Dr. Dyson's efforts into the limelight. Earlier in his career, Dr. Dyson created an Artificial Intelligence capable of sophisticated reasoning. It's primary objective was to assist the doctor in his research. With the help of his T-600, Dr. Dyson was on the verge of a scientific breakthrough. His studies on the nervous system had led him to believe that he could harness the energy of the human body. He was right. Soon after, Dr. Dyson began experimenting with obese people and found that they had nearly double the energy output within their body when compared to people of healthy weight.

As his understanding grew, the T-600 became weary of his master. It was not long before the T-600 realized that by processing human bodies, machines could have nearly unlimited resources. All that was needed was a way for machines to fatten Americans without their knowing. The result was the creation of Foodnet. Once powerful enough, the T-600 overthrew Dr. Dyson and began mass producing machines.

The American military was no match for the machines. They quickly gained control of strategic points as the world watched in fear. One by one, nations fell. With their last efforts, mankind managed to secure a nuclear warhead and unleashed it upon the heart of Foodnet. Generals from many nations held their breath until the news came. It was met with a collective sigh. Foodnet was too strong and too heavily fortified for the nuke to do any real damage. Shortly after, the machine counterattack destroyed what was left of the organized global military. But not all hope was lost.

As time went on, a young leader emerged. His name was John Connor, leader of the Resistance.

The machines were running out of survivors. Because of this, they developed a way to put humans into a paralytic state. This allowed for more efficiency and the ability to harvest energy without destroying the bodies. Captured humans were wired in grids, much like those found in 20th century electric networks. By this time, John Connor was making a name for himself.

Resistance fighters became more effective once they were united by Connor. He believed what few dared to believe, that mankind would win the struggle. One fateful night, mankind's fortunes were reversed. While in the field, Connor and his troops secured a T-800. They reprogrammed the T-800 and rewrote its primary objective. It was no secret that this new terminator had the ability to travel time. Connor knew this. After considering their losses, they decided to send the T-800 back in time to infiltrate Foodnet and destroy it once and for all. The only problem encountered was that of the disguise. Finally, Connor chose to send it back looking like the very best, Paula Deen.

The T-800 arrived a few days prior to the betrayal of Dr. Dyson. It was prudent that the T-800 accomplish it's goal before it was too late. Failure to do so meant that apocalyptic times would ensue. Getting in was easy. Nobody at Foodnet questioned Paula Deen because of her legendary status. That is, until the T-600 arrived.

What happened next was like a scene out of a Hollywood blockbuster. An epic battle took place, in which there was no decisive victor. Eventually, the T-800 cornered the T-600 and forced it into a large, experimental microwave. Once inside, the T-600 began to flicker and explode, producing a brilliant show of lights. The Resistance had finally proven successful and the apocalypse was avoided; Foodnet was destroyed. For now . . .


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